It’s Plenty Funny…

“Okay, I’ve got to be honest, I had absolutely no idea that would happen!” She said as she looked at him, covered in an orange gel foam.

“Seriously? I could have been killed!” He looked at her as he wiped the goggles clean. He flicked the orange stuff on his hands toward her, watching her jump back to avoid being splattered.

“HEY!” She yelled trying to avoid the onslaught.

“Yeah, not so funny, is it.” He held his hands out, letting the stuff drip off of him.

“Oh, it’s plenty funny.” She laughed as a large glob of the orange stuff hung down from his left arm, stretching comically before making a ‘splorting’ noise as it fell the ground. As it hit, the squishy splatting noise reminded her of someone letting lose a wet fart. “Ok, it’s a bit gross too.”

“Yeah, but you’re not the one wearing this stuff.” He looked at himself as best he could, seeing most of the white paper suit he was wearing covered in it. “I do have one question though.”

Between her laughing and trying to avoid any further attempts at him covering her with any more of the grotesque substance, she said, “What’s that?”

He started to move a bit more, almost comically dancing as if there were ants in his pants. “Is this stuff…” He squirmed even more. “Is this stuff suppose to burn?”

Her laughter quickly changed to abject horror as she watched the orange foamy gel rapidly start to bubble as it reacted with the paper suit. The bubbles turned violent, foaming more and erupting violently from the suit, spraying orange liquid outward.

His screams of “Get it off!” echoed in her ears long after the only thing left was just a puddle of orange and red liquid on the ground. She sat in the corner, huddled on the floor, rocking back and forth, covering her ears with her hands and squeezing her eyes shut as tightly as she could. She tried desperately to hide from the horror she just witnessed as she watch her best friend emulsify.

She tried so hard, that she never saw the orange puddle move toward her, never felt it slide up her foot, never knew that what just happened to him was about to happen to her.

Not until it was already too late.




Published by

R. Todd

I'm older than I think I am and younger than I feel. I'm stuck in the 80's but relevant to today (oh I hope that last part is true). I think I am more of an enigma than I really am, but somehow still confound those who try to figure me out (or they just look at me weird, so I infer that). And I really hate my first name. Husband, father, Navy Vet, UCF graduate, cat owner (translate.. slave), wannabe writer, and all around big kid who is stuck in an adult world. Overall, I just... um.. something to something, blah blah blah. And that's all I got to say about that.

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